Most of us would stop working if we could. We constantly crave for it, but that’s about as far as we get-dreaming. Working a 9-5 just seems inescapable. I, James Gillard, however am a master at defying the ineluctable. I stare ‘The Ineluctable’ right in the face and and name him dirty ones. I say, if you like to quit your job, QUIT WORKING; The following are the five reasons why you should.
1. If you stop working you’ll have more time to devote to reading articles such as this. This will enable me to become a household name down at the Unemployment and Welfare offices. My fame is a small price to pay for you living your dreams. Think about this when you see me on TV.
2. Quitting your job will make you feel wonderful. For about 10 minutes you’ll be on cloud nine, you’ll on the top of the world, you’ll be living the good life, you’ll be: -insert your own line of though here-. Then the worries start about the mortgage, school tuition, groceries, and how you’re going to pay that $850 you owe the Petermanns for running over their mailbox and a whole row of prize-winning azaleas. All this will bring depression up to the extent of attempting suicide, but at least you had 10 minutes of freedom.
3. Daytime television is some of the most thrilling and captivating television in the market. You’ll inquire how you ever survived without all those soap operas, movies, talk shows, reality shows, and judge shows where you suspect that the judge has beed paid. Mix all these shows with all the informative advertisements that air during the day that will ”Get a degree from home’, ‘Make $1,000 a day answering emails’,'Learn the Internet in 2 hours’ in such exciting fields as GED preparation and septic tank scrubber’ and you’ll not only wonder why you didn’t quit your job sooner, you promise you won’t get back to work again.
4. In your formerly employed state you missed all those important calls from collection agencies and other bill collectors. Now that you have resigned you’ll be able to sit at home in eager anticipation of these oh-so-important calls. Toss in a few telemarketers, calls from various associations begging for donations, and a few of those computers that call you and ask you to ‘Hold for an important message’ and you’ll have a full day of just answering the phone. It will be like having a full-time job all over again, without getting a salary.
5. Forcing yourself to wake up every morning at 5:45 in the morning can’t be good for your health. Your physician will proud of you that you care enough for your body to go as far as quitting your job. He will not, however, see you as a patient anymore since you don’t have health insurance. But there’s no need to worry, after all that’s why we have free clinics. Waiting all day in this clinic next to young teenagers with stage 3 Chlamydia is is another wonderful experience you will surely miss if you had kept your day job.
There you have it folks. Five raesons why you should go out and resign from your job. Have a free feeling to say these to your boss when you turn in your two weeks notice. If she asks where you came across such valuable information say to her that friend with unselfish motives supplied them to you free of charge, and all I asked in return was that you remember me next time you need your septic tank scrubbed…
No related posts.
